 |
there was a soul....
it lost its pathway...
it had been wrongly directed...
it went around looking for its soul...
it went through alot of obstacles..
through the search...
still in vain..
anger.. frustration...
sadness.. fear..
happiness.. joy...
yet in vain to search its soul...
can you try to help...
soul searchin....
>
|
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Saturday, February 12, 2005
gooshh....
i m back to the world of bloggie.. its been long wif soo many happeningz.. i even lost track wat hapen n wat i type in the last entry...
alritez i tnk alot 3wks had passed... its been reali bad.. especialy to be geting a bad omen every monday imgaine the whole week gets disturbed n damn sour...
i had a prob wif my Major project team lik 3wks ago.. i will not forget dat day..!!! time managemnt isbad in my team so i reali emphasis on dat.. yet haiizz nuthin gd comes out of it.. my Lecturere was pissed wif our late meetings wif him cz our grp had probz wif paging n other crapy stuffs.. gosh imgaine a monday juz geting a blardy remrk frm my lecturer.. n the tnk was.. its not the 1ST tyme our timing had been bad wif his lecturer of us... n being the blardy grp leader... every tnk was beiong point to me !!! someitmes i feel i m not a gd grp leader i dnt lead n control the grp well dat y.. there is no displine in the grp n as well as in my own self.. !!! i juz so F pressured wif all the fraking project being the leader is the worst responsibilty.. F la... if the projetc not up to standard i cant do anytnk but reject rite?? n sorie mates.. havin dependent mates lik mine haiizzz so many planing to do ohh goshh.. plzz me dear mate.. its is the LAst lap we shall go thru hell alrtiez we goin to end this lap soonn... !!!
day by dad passed n trust me the anger, patience in myself got even worse wen everyday sometng diffren happens n its bad.. i dnt wish to go to ani extend to wats happening cz i juz wana forgo it reali...ppl are juz testin my Farking patience.. well juz a note i have a blardy limit to all this.. once i Blow up frenz ya goin to hate me reali.. i hate doing dat too.. i m juz too nice i guess !!! haiizz... alrite fark it la..
aniwyz my CNY was hmm.....
ju gg y D one/3 of ri s hi ri ch project was dwn at In -do -c h -i n e fo r b id d e n city. n me frenz frm Kl came dwn for dat... yeah one of them brought dwn his merc car ffuuyoo sleeek...
n guess wat.. me bro got me the tickets for the gig weeee... frm 10pm-6am weeee...
n it was $32 .. haiizz...
so yeah me fren bump at me house at 11.30pm on wednesday so we got dressed fuuyoo looking damn fuuyoo n not forgeting sseexxyyy evryone..so 12.30 AM we left home for clubbing... wahhhaa been loong since mel got wild baby ...
yeah baby.. it was damn happening
so yeah b4 entering club heheh drank alitle chivas Oppzz.. notti mel:P
the crowd was quite alritez but the place was kinda of spacious.. ohh yeah .. did i mention dat me got to noe a few of me bro frenz .. one of them fuuoyooo damn drop dead man.. goshh .. but too bad hes attach *-Backoff-* but hes gurl wa drunk at there due to some bad days she had.. haiizz.. den again mel dnt go for guy who frequently club. !!! dnt ask me y i hav my reasons to it :P
at the club bumped into some of me frenz old n new frenz.. bump into my Old punjabi skol mate but i doubt he still noes me or still recognsed me( was lookin soo innocent abck den you see..).. but dat fellow still look the samee still fuuyyoo..den met Go pi the fellow who came for me devads.. he gav me a surprise the second day at backstage fuuyoo.. all the way to backstage he came to seee me.. such a sweity.. but i wnt forget the tyme i argue wif him over a kerosne lamp juz wen i got to know him n end up not geting the lamp frm him.. i was suppose to mmet him up ( for the 1st tyme) to get the lamp but time clash soo badly n that fellow refuse to come to my conveince haiizz...so yeah den me met hiom for the 1st tyme at cheekz lik in jun last yr wen i was wif me pals.. till den in dec me saw him again at me devdas n then.. heheh here in In do chi nie met him again... Biigg Huggiieezz.. dats wat he gav me hehe..did i mention he fell at the entrance of the club wakakkaka.. !!!!i juz stood der lookin n luffin at him!!! i tnk he was alrdy "high" by then..
yeah den saw a couple of mua skol mates guys there...
hmm a long story la abt the4 happenigs there cz i was there frm 1am-6am.. !!! wooohoo... my toes were sore aft dat reali.. wif my heels some more.. !!!
alritez apart frm the clubbin got hm at 7am .. den slept thru flat.. !!! till afternnoon 4pm!!! hehheeh den wakey wen riding all ard singapore in the mercs car weeee weeeiitt happening n got hm at 11pm !!! hehehe off cz it includes dinner at tampines oso n chilling out there...
yeah honestly had not had such a gd tyme in a long while aft all the farking 3 wks of hell...
i tnk God putting me thru this Phew !!...
i juz need more courage n motivation to carry on another fuuyooo 1.5MORE MONTHS in T p !!!! weee. weeitt going to graduate soon..
alritez.. me wana go for lunchin wif me besti.. more to update later on or sumtime.. actuali in a mood to write a poem.. for someone haiizz...
Posted at 2/12/2005 7:29:07 am by God knows who....
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Your Passion is Pink!You're the type of woman that would never get described as passionate...
Oh but you can be passionate at times - you just don't let it show.
Your passion most shows through in your sweet and optimistic attitude.
And chances are, most people are very passionate about you! |
 |
Posted at 1/30/2005 7:52:04 pm by God knows who....
Friday, January 21, 2005
I have many Doubts.
Is it Real or...
Just an illusion...
Someone Please Tell me.
Is it a Game?
Or is it Reality?
How am I going to Know
The answers to my Doubts.
Did you meant what you said?
Are you really who you are?
Am i blinded by you?
Or it's just meant to be nothing
I wish I have
The courage to appoarch
Appoarch my Doubts.
But... I just can't bring myself to.
Was there even a begining.
I can't recall when it was.
Is there going to be a conclusion?
Because, I don't want it to conclude.
Where do i Stand?
I question my Doubts.
But Questioning my Doubts..
Don't get me any further.
Questioning my Doubts
Leave me with more empty questions
My curiousity is killing me
Please Answer My Doubts !!!!
*-MeLinda-* ©
Posted at 1/21/2005 10:39:16 pm by God knows who....
Saturday, January 15, 2005
hmmm wen was the last tyme i blog seh...
i reali have no tyme to blog damn...
well been busy with me projects lately.. well shall come to that later...
1st i did blog lik a wk ago in my skol lab den the comp shut dwn on me while i wanted to publish my entry.. like wat the F** seh.. i typed out sooo long den lik dat.. soo sad.. sob soobb...
alritez dis is the summariezed wat i typed.. !!!
my warning letter issue.. my dad saw the letter he got hold of it.. silly mel got it 1st tyme so shes not aware dat the silly skol will send a non logo enevelop letter address to parents so yeah got Hooked !!... i wasnt ard wen dad read it but sis said dad reali made a lot of noise.. the nx day dat was lst sunday dad came n told me dis..
" what happening to you nw huh... y ur "love-letters" comin to the house nw...?? hehhe cute yeah but haiizz he said a lot of hurtful words la.. well ppl who noes wat goes in and out of my house wld noe den agn NO one noes other den my nu so u all cant keep guesing.. bascialy a comparision of mel was done in btwn siblings... bla bla.. den he was sayin i graudatiin alrdy den lik dat hw wana werk outside bla bla .. n he asked me STOP teachin tuition oso .. dat i was reali reali disapointed.. he said dis" so litle money frm tuition where can it get u to..." i am so goin to prove him worng !!! N kiddiez 5 of them i syg so much to let dem go... well i mite consider being a FULL time tuition teacher aft completing my studies.. nw dat more students are comin in.. but 5 i put a stop there itself till march 20.. dats wen i m done wif my skol weee hehee.. no examz at all dis semester.. so damn glad.. my dream wic i hav been waiting for past 5 yrs is goin to come true at last.. to c a diploma in my own hands and den agn make them proud hopefuli they will appreciate n not haiizz.. nvm. well frenz who noe hw my education line was u wld noe hw much dis diploma is important to me.... alrtiez bckz to my warning letter. i didnt argue wif dad but dad noes i wnmt stop tuition its juz he was disappointd dats y all does words.. later he ask me which shirt he shld wear to go out hhehe.... dad is soo flexi wif me n yet me soo afrraid of losing the trust i have in himm... i hope the trust is still der reali... i juz cnat wait to graudate man... i cant describe the longingness in me...
hiaiizz okyez apart frm all dat.. did ya noe i hav a litle new look in myself... in 2005.
i cut my fringe like soo "mena" nw.. hahehehe no more unique but my beautiful curls are still der... den i wld style my hair if i hav the mood n time to do so b4 i leave hm... nw lik cnt leave wifout wax on my hair..heheh me finishing up my bro's gel n wax hehhe...
n other den the fringe... i hav another piercing.. huh wat u tnkin of noooo.. not ani ohter piecring other den my ears...
yesh me ears at last another pierceing.. there's alewyz someone stopin me to do it.. well i did it on 31dec2004 yesh b4 1005 accomplishmnet man.. i pierced on top lik near the nerve..woohhoo... now currently.. left 2 piercing and rite 4(incl of new one) piercing.. so damn satisfied wif myself...heheheh hmm lots more to type la
... well nw i am VERY BUSY wif my major project... i went thru a sleepless nyte lik frm thur mornin 6am till fri 12midnigth on top teachin 2 students on dat day.. weee it was hell but i didnt had ani choice i had subbismions la hate it...
haiizz.... satdy meeting grp members for proejcts lik NO life la mel.. but den agn i still a lilte of social life la eh... *-Winkz-*
kz la me wana stop here wana go finalised my major report.. ohh yeah for info
monday i have my major report submission, wednesday i hav a termtest...n thur 20/1-sunday 30/01 is my TERM BREAK,... weeeeee holidyz baby... yeah soo fat lik y'day went to skol wakkaka... den agn i hv projects... drama stufss. tuitions.... n projects n reports n did i mention more projects.. individual n pro even a webie page desinging project yeah suxxyzz !!!>.....
alritez la me wana chill out satdy n i n home early...
*-MeL-*
Posted at 1/15/2005 6:01:47 pm by God knows who....
Thursday, January 13, 2005
 |
Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure Angels always appear when a child is born, when a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and show their love to everyone in the world.
COol Quizesz.. check it Out !!
 |
| You have a twisted soul! Twisted Souls are never bad, and actually, are a rarity amongst souls. These souls are a little combination of everything, with always a little of their own chaos to add. Twisted Souls are kind, loving, weird, zany, temperamental, and very talented. They have their own firm opinion, and can at one time be very outspoken and passionate, and the other time shy and feeling insignificant. Twisted Souls have good senses of Humor and other times can be a bore. You can act quite intelligent at one time, and grasp concepts easily, while other times they can find it difficult to understand. Twisted Souls are always very fun and Kind, and can be party animals. But, if you love someone, youre serious about it, intense, and forever loyal. Congratulations-the world should have more like you. |
 |
| You have Pink Wings! And, the name says it all. Pink is a color which represents girly, young, stubborn images, and you are a reflection of it. Though many see you as spoiled and bratty, you know its only because you know what you want and how to get it. With adding on being very stubborn, you are also very determined, and you ALWAYS get what you want. People are fooled by your girly exterior-you can prove them wrong. Even though you seem young at heart, you realize the world may not always fair, and keep your distance with some. |
The pink wings are like SOO Truee !!!
|
Posted at 1/13/2005 11:04:52 am by God knows who....
Friday, January 07, 2005
Warning Letter frm My SKOL !!!!
F !!!!
For the FIRST Time in Polytechnic LIFE ... !!!
I received a Warning Letter for my Poor attendance...
cant believe it.. !!! just not attending two lessons...
n yeah i admit my attendance n puntuality had been bad but.. aarrghh !!!!
Haizz they HAD TO sent the letter to my home snail mail...
Hiaazz... i hope the letter dnt get into my parents hands..
it will be truly a disappointmnet for dem..
i had my reasons for the attendance all cz of my blardy extra commitment in skol..
i guess i juz cant handle it well...
n this letter was bascialy due to my major project.... the scrafice i go thru
i better get a gd grade for my major project...
n one more time if i ever skip this lesson or come late or it twice./..
i will be DEBAR frm this unexmainable subject LaME rite...
TP frenz... u wld noe.. its for my APEL subj..
its my Last sem
i CANT afford to repeat bcz of Damn APEL stupid Lesson...
an hr a wk n the Bitch there juz talk nonsense..
haiizz..
wat a way to usher my new year 2005...
Thanks alot this skol i came frm aft 3yrs i had to get this rite ...
hmmm Never... i guess i deserve it ...
its a new year n i gona start it off well..
been well so far in skol attendance....
ohh one more unoffical warning for my Term Test subject....
was being called out personally for my poor attendance oso..
haiizzzzzz................
WAKEUP MELIN !!!!!
Posted at 1/7/2005 6:53:48 pm by God knows who....
Thursday, January 06, 2005
*-on behalf of a lost and confused soul i post this entry.. do leave some comments..."
HURT.....
It is a feeling...
A feeling no one could ever understand...
An unexplainable emotion with no boundaries...
Do you ever realise...
How much you left behind
feeling me being hurt,
lost and confused..??
You have all the things to say..
the words to bring me down..
to make me lose my esteem
lose my hopes and my dreams...
Do you realise...?
How much you controlled me?
How much you always want it your way?
How narrow minded you always think?
With the hurt you left me with...
I had NO choice...
BUT....
To leave you being hurt in Return... ! ! ! !
*-MeLinda-*
Posted at 1/6/2005 9:22:01 pm by God knows who....
Monday, January 03, 2005
|
A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find
My head's spinning
I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate
I'll take a shower, I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned, yeah
Vexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard this feeling
won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel righ
I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more
I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be.
Free from pain - going insane
My heart aches, yeah
Sometimes vocabulary runs right through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy,
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard this feeling won't last that long
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When ya gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right x4
You can tell me to my face,
You can tell me on the phone,
Uh, You can write it in a letter,
'Cause I really need to know
You can tell me to my face
You can tell me on the phone
Uh, You can write it in a letter,
'Cause I really need to know
You can write it in a letter,
You can write it in a letter,
Look beyond the lyrics.. n u noe wat i mean,,,,,Lyrics is not in MY point of view.. !!!! |
Posted at 1/3/2005 11:05:39 am by God knows who....
Saturday, January 01, 2005
=-= HaPPi New Year 2005....' =-=
Wishing you loyal friends a very happy new year.
May you be bless in all aspects of life...
be it family, luve, friends, education, career, financial.
Remember this....
everything in life happens for a reason...
wheather it is bad or good...
and evrythink that happens has its positive and negative prespective..
It all depends on which prespective you choose to look at...
When you feel that HE has taking something away from you...
Dnt despair. because HE is waiting to give you something even bigger then you expected.
So be patient and let Him Guide you through the obstacles and Challenges of Life.
Make it in 2005 that u choose to look at all the positive things in evrytnk bad that happens.
When you do that, Life would be less stressful and you maybe will stop blaming on others or even urself for all the bad that has happen...
Its going to be hard to aceept and look at the positive..
but a litle try wont give any harm.
I am going to try it this year so mayb u all can consider it too...
Takcrez n hope what i just typed made sense...
*-Melinda-*
Posted at 1/1/2005 2:17:47 am by God knows who....
Friday, December 31, 2004
Devdas Production woohooooo
eeLLlllloozzz......
PHEW... dEVDAS PRoduction is finaaly over.. But soo sad its over... i m goin to miss you all guys. You all cast reali did a gd job./. at last our baby was leashed... weeeee.... Thanks a million for everyones' help for making this production a wonderful experience... someone told me dis the day beofre the prodcution wen i was worried abt the audience .." mel, its not the number of audience that matters.. its the performance itself" well aft the 1st day i beleive so much in it.. Yesh the performance indeed matters.. ya noe ppl were talkin abt devdas aft the 1st nyte.. 1st nyte we had 55% m 2nd nyte we had 75% of audience.. so hats off u gurlz n guysl.. N not forgeting of cz the NADI, PC, Ms Cat( our advisor). n not forgeting the costumes frm, aneesh,mahes,darren,fayyaz and others not mentioned.
welll the bonding of devdas will still be there hoepfulii.. thkz a million for those who came n support devdas esp... NU and shoban,pale,peemi puah and uncle, kak nieae, fad, and ohhh yeah GoPi... this sweet gopi.. last tyme me met him was at Cheekyz lik 6mthz ago.. i juz fwd sms abt devdas to him.. n the 2nd day of devdas... he kloed tellin me hes comin or he mite come.. weee... few hrs later.. i saw him at backstage outside my dressin rm he came n look for me.. soo sweeet.. gav him a Bigg Huggiieezzz.... aft 6mthz seein him hehehe.... yeah n me frenz dnt noe if they jealous or wat.. they hurried me n drag me bck to do my makeup.. hehe sorie gopi had to rush off.... n u silly didnt even wait till the show ends... its the last day n u didnt wait.. nvm appricated dat u came all the way to bckstage.. one questiuon.. hw u noe wher was the backstage???
Ohh yeah not forgeting Thkz J-dee for helping me to collect the brochures on last monday at near arab street. heheheh den walk all the way dwn top sim lim juz to catch a bus to tp... thkz for acompanying me n sorie to keep u waitin at the back stage... hehehe.. well in short thkz a million.. u know hw much dat day reali unlifted my moods... n yeah dats the day i noe dat i m not actin oso.. haiiizzz.... too long to write and mention but in the end it comes to a good n gr8 end...
hmm watels i m to update huh...... wait for new yr issue of neztumgerl's blogg.... heheheh
*-pooofff-*
Posted at 12/31/2004 9:35:44 am by God knows who....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
